“Anal Glaucoma Pose”
Man, oh, Man, has America got a bad case of Anal Glaucoma. I mean a really bad case of ANAL GLAUCOMA so said Vladimir Putin@G16 Meeting 2018. Or was it G18 or G12 or G1+1+1. Lol. No, Putin did not say that. But he knows the truth about many things and this is one of them. No matttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttter, it got said and it’s been said more than a billion times all across America as this devastating disease just grabs ahold of workers in almost every circle of life. I mean it could be said that even the reason your date stood you up wasn’t because of yo ass being so gosh darn ugly. No, it wasn’t that. It was ANAL GLAUCOMA and brother, your date had her a bad case of this almost mysterious Disease. And hey, no one can blame it on this or that. But can it be attributed to something?
Yes, what is the root cause of Anal Glaucoma? Or does it have one? So, I reckon that we must dwell deep into this very mystical disease as it is taking a real $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
crunch on Mr. McGoo’s bottom line or is it really saving him money? No, it’s sure not saving him money because most likely you are in the 1st aspect of the disease-the 1st time you use this Anal Glaucoma. So, let’s look at these aspects or mandatory things that must kind of be in place for a person to even consider having a case of Anal Glaucoma.
- The worker must have a permanent job. Yep. You sure can’t use Anal Glaucoma if you are an hourly worker or a Contract Worker because if you miss a day of work, it directly affects your pocketbook. And hey, no one can give up that money today. And if you do, Mommie and Daddy ain’t gonna be waiting for you with open arms. No, that gonna kick you right between the tail. And when it gets to be the 10th or 20th or 30th or 40th time you come crawling back for some money, they will eventually start the HELL NO, THEY AIN’T MY KID paperwork. Okay, maybe they won’t start the HELL NO, THEY AIN”T MY KID paperwork, but they sure not gonna keep opening their arms as wide each time you come back home and flop your big butt or booty on their living room couch. You know, the one where you spent most of your life.
- A worker must have some degree of permanency like JOB SENORISM. You know. That stuff where you been at that one job for quite a while. Or you been at that job so long that your butt smell is so ingrained into the seat of the chair where you sit that every other worker there won’t sit in your chair because they can smell your stinky ass as if your stinky butt was still sitting in that chair even when you aren’t sitting there. U stanky thang u. lol
- A worker must be in a position where training another person would take just too much damn time or cost too damn much money.
- A worker must be just plain ole important. You are in a job that is important. This is like you are the one that installs the ejection seats into a F-35 Jet Fighter and no one else ever got this training for this very important job after the other sixty-eight installers lost their jobs after the ejection mechanism accidentally went off and sent them thru the roof of the building where they used to work. But as this worker goes flying thru the roof on that ejection seat, he gonna be yelling back at all the other workers-Looks Like an Automatic Call-In for tomorrow.
- A worker must have some degree of PROTECTIONISM. You know. That’s the stuff of job guarantees to keep the worker even after they have used Anal Glaucoma repeatedly and gives a worker a better justification for their Anal Glaucoma usage.
- A worker must be a family member or married into the family of the one who is in charge above them. Yep, if you marry the Boss’s ugly ass daughter or son, then your usage of Anal Glaucoma will be overlooked if you stay home because they will only think that their child had held you at ransom in bed and that they only imagined that you were in the process of making a baby or just making repeated times of love making. Yeah, he knows you ain’t really, but he still has hopes of a grand-kid. And let me tell you. The real truth of this matter is the fact that the UGLIER that Boss’s kid that you are dating or married to is, then the more times of Anal Glaucoma you will be able to take without a single word said to you about it. And even when he or she looks like a greek god or goddess, when you look at their face, everyone says the same thing-What a Crying Shame. Yep, what a Crying Shame! Gorilla Ugly or Wart Hog Ugly. And is this case, you gonna have an endless amount of Anal Glaucoma Days allowed to you. lol
Anal Glaucoma also comes in varying degrees of severity.
- Mild Case-You use this sickness very rarely.
- Moderate Case-You use this sickness about once a month.
- Severe Case-You use this disease about once a week.
- Terminal Case-Your disease is so severe that you Called-In every day of work except maybe just one time where you actually showed-up to work and this is totally acceptable if your job is so very important like the installing the injection mechanism or seat in the F-35 or similarly important job.
Anal Glaucoma is also known as THE AUTOMATIC CALL-IN. This is where something happens at work or at home where you will say on the day before you have your case of Anal Glaucoma that you gonna Call-In the next day. And the worker will let all the coworkers know that something has taken place at work or at home which will require his or her being somewhere else other than at work on the following day. You know, it might be from when you just get pissed-off cause someone caused u a Toad Stool or worse like calling u a Toad Stool. lol
So, you just tell everyone that when that something happens, that something was an AUTOMATIC CALL-IN and they know that you will have a case of Anal Glaucoma the next work day.
Yep, you will usually will tell everyone-Well now, that’s an automatic call-in.
You know it might take place after you get told to go clean the restrooms after your boss’s son just hosed it down with his crammy artwork of using his own feces. Where are these people getting the idea that it is cool to wipe poop all over a Public Restroom? It is and always will be SICK in my book and maybe yours too?
You know, the really sicko ones are just plain sick in the head. They have to be. And no matter how much you want to kick his or her little butt, you can’t or you will lose your job because somewhere in the mind of that man’s or woman’s father, the father too finds it funny and even funnier when he PICKS YOU OUT OF A CROWD of over a hundred workers. BOy, howDy, the man, he gots it out for you so, you know what time it is when he does pick you out to do the cleaning-it’s gonna be an
for the next day.
And I know, I know, I know. There are still readers who still don’t have a clue what the heck Anal Glaucoma is and well, I guess now is just as good as any to let you know in on this most used form of FICTIONAL DISEASE, but being highly used and highly addictive in America today. It is growing at an astronomical rate!
ANAL GLAUCOMA is where you just can’t see your ass going to work.
Get it? Ass is Anal. And not being able to SEE YO SELF going to work is the Glaucoma part related to the ability to use your eyes and what they see or in this case-what they can’t see as if you suddenly got a bad case of blindNess. Temporarily at that. And you just can’t see your ass going to work.
YEP, DAT ASS, I JUST CAN’T SEE IT GOING TO WORK!!!
anal glaucoma, anal glaucoma, anal glaucoma is a disease? Mystical or real?
Now, the use of this mystical disease does have some important drawbacks like you no longer having a job when the Boss finds out or sees a Selfie that your Dumbass just posted on Facebook where the whole world can see. And the Boss looks at the Timeline. Did your brain just quit on you or what? You know that Selfie that shows that you made a miraculous recovery from your Anal Glaucoma within ten minutes of Calling-In and using it. Dang. You POSTED a SELFIE? WHat the heck was your dumbass thinking? But let’s face facts, there are some pretty special people in this world and in lots of cases, their elevator just doesn’t go to the Top Floor. Some are so super special that they don’t even get close to the 3rd floor in their elevator. lol
But what really burns a boss is that some snitching coworker showed the SELFIE to gain REWARDS POINTS? Holy Crap! wtf is that? A snitch’s best friend only good in their own minds and not real at all. Hey, a SNITCH has to feel good about their snitching or what the heck is that? But that snitch was showing him or her that you weren’t even home when you made that CALL-IN and you just hooked yourself. Way to go for sure. Now you caught for sure. lol
Or you are a bigger Dumb Butt and even tell your Boss that you cannot come in because you have a bad case of Anal Glaucoma. But hey, you were so stupid to be snickering or laughing on your cell phone as you made the call. This call that you thought was going to be so funny to your boss and the one that you thought your boss would like hearing. And you might have been only trying to be humorous and when he terminates your employment, just think of it as he’s being humorous in return. But his humor just ain’t that funny, now is it? NO, getting fired is never a funny thing and it hits home or it just never is absorbed by the stupid worker. Or let’s just say-the less intelligent worker.
So, now, just smile as all of this is for a humorous read, but is it really?
No, maybe not as all of us do make CALL-INs at work and you and I know, they aren’t really sick. No, they are not sick at all.
Anal Glaucoma Users are multiplying ever single day. The numbers just keep getting larger and larger. And by using Anal Glaucoma, this billion dollar robbing disease that is attacking America every day is no joke. No, it is very real for sure.
Yep. Anal Glaucoma as it does sound humorous, it is taking an unbelievable toll on the ole pocketbook of your employer or the stock holders. And they in turn are searching for anything and everything to motivate you to NOT USE ANAL GLAUCOMA.
So, maybe it is not so funny and maybe before you CALL-IN the next time with your most terrible and horrific bad case of Anal Glaucoma, please remember this-WHEN YOU CALL-IN, it does have a Direct Effect, a Direct Affect, at the job place and on all of your fellow coworkers. And it does reflect, to a degree, on your honesty. On how maybe you even view yourself. And think of this-
THERE’S OVER A TWENTY MILLION PEOPLE every day who would love to CALL-IN with a bad case of ANAL GLAUCOMA too but their
J O B
is just too damn important to do a CALL-IN. You know, the Law Enforcement Officers, the Doctors, the Paramedics, the Nurses, TEACHERS, Men and Women in the United States Armed Forces, Men and Women sent to the BORDER to work this amazing Humanitarian Crisis, and so many others.
Some of the finest men and women in America just might love to have a case of Anal Glaucoma and CALL-IN, but most respect their own integrity to a point that it is impeccable and they cannot and will not CALL-IN because they are upset about this or that.
No, they suck it up and grab the Bull by the horns and GO TO WORK NO MATTER WHAT.
To These folks, a HUGE SALUTE TO ALL OF YOU!
So re-rate yourself and PICK UP THE PIECES, shake it off whatever it was that upset you, and go to work every single time you can because it will all be over one day.
It really will.
One day, you will wake-up and it will all be over and you hopefully will be retired with enough money so that you will not have to work again or in a Part-Time Job.
Folks, I have seen and talked to People who wished they had done this or that and one Lady in her 80’s was working as a Checkout Cashier at Wal-Mart. And she said that she had no choice.
Yep, one day you just might find yourself in the Retirement World and the longer you work in one job, the better the Retirement might be. Or at least, should be.
Yes, not in some cases. Stinking Contract Labor Jobs for sure with no benefits other than just cash money.
And how about this one too-
When you are at work, you get in on all the juicy gossip and all the other tics that bounce around. And being there is always one step above from just hearing about something.
And if you do, maybe you won’t be in that LINE-UP when they are reviewing-
LAST HIRED! FIRST FIRED!
if they have a layoff. and today, layoffs are just about to start bouncing around like a forest fire. No, just wait and see who and what goes under this year and in 2020. Being responsible and being able to go to work is one of the greatest gifts given to the working man and woman has in America today. It is always good to keep an eye on the Job Market and the information that is coming out about the Company that you do work for so that you won’t get caught without a JOB when or if they decide to lay you off.
IT REALLY IS!
And remember this and that is in some places, they don’t have nearly a tenth of what each of us take for granted.
So, drop the muse of your Make Believe Anal Glaucoma and just get back into the MINDSET that you will be going to work and just go. Yep, just go to work. The more days that you do not miss, the easier it is to KEEP COMING IN TO WORK and not using Anal Glaucoma. Later…
God Bless…the living breathing James Brown, US Army Veteran, author of A Panther’s Father Book Series.